One Million B.C. — historically accurate movie review!!

Since we are always approaching a new year, it’s never too early to start one of those retrospectives that looks back through time.  In this case we will take a look back at One Million B.C.  It’s a movie starring famous celebrity Raquel Welch and some other fine cave people living among a variety of dinosaurs…  and also one super-humongous iguana.

It’s filmed like a real documentary.  As you’d expect from cavemen, we get lots of expressive grunting and bloodcurdling AAAAAHHHHS!!!  But there is also a love story.  Raquel Welch is from the blonde-haired tribe, where they do arts and crafts.  Needless to say, she falls for a caveman from the much tougher brunette tribe.  And wow are they tough!  A simple fight over scraps of dino-chicken can easily escalate to epic proportions.

Naturally, the narrator is the only one who speaks English (or Spanish, depending on which dubbed version you are watching).  But he doesn’t last throughout the whole movie.  Quite suddenly he disappears, mysteriously, after only about ten minutes into the movie.  We can only speculate his disappearance must have something to do with plot we are dealing with:  Cavemen.  Dinosaurs.  AAAAAHHHH!!!

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