The Octagon—Memorial Day Movie Review

Despite how it sounds, this 1980 action film has nothing to do with our own treasured Pentagon, headquarters for the United States Military. The Octagon is all about an evil ninja training camp, so secretive that we never actually hear the name “Octagon” throughout the entire movie. Chuck Norris and the Ninja

Ninja training camp is great for overweight slobs, tormenting them with trap doors and sucker-punches in the belly. Eventually they will be come hardened assassins—ninja assassins, those mythical creatures of the night that have been supposedly extinct for over 300 years.  (Seriously, when this movie was filmed, ninjas were not yet a mainstay in popular culture.  So at times, characters in this movie are like, “Ninja?  What’s a ninja?)

But Chuck Norris knows they exist. The echoing voice in his head is sure that they exist, even if nobody else will believe him. To prove that he’s right, he must go on this harrowing action-adventure to seek and destroy the ninja training camp.  Along the way he meets:

1) a steely-eyed Lee Van Cleef. He likes to poke fun at Chuck Norris’s ability to spot elusive ninjas. Laughing at Chuck, he says, “Do you see these ninja often? Or only on a full moon?” Smart-aleck! Van Cleef is only jealous.

2) some guy that is so intimidated by Chuck Norrisawesomeness that all he can do is whisper insults about Chuck behind Chuck’s back: “I don’t trust him. He looks constipated.”

If Chuck heard that, he’d show this guy some real constipation!

Another Iconic Action Movie:

Death Wish 3
Bronson helps us end gang violence!

Death Wish 3

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3 Responses to The Octagon—Memorial Day Movie Review

  1. Haha! Awesome review, man, I could really picture the movie (even tho I’ve yet to see it) just from how you described it. Chuck Norris cracks me up in general and tho I can never forgive him for the whole Walker: Texas Ranger fiasco, I do somewhat admire his asskickery ™ skillz. I love the ‘matching bumpers’ thing, that’s pretty hilarious and… bizarre.. thus making it furtherly hilarious.

    Bring us more illustratey goodness! 🙂

    @Will do, GlowStormLion!


  2. aniche says:

    even with short hands chuck norris looks deadly 😀
    ur entire idea is awesome! ur illustrations definitely beats most of the movies.


  3. Rey says:

    Yeah, he’s like the T. Rex of ninja fighters!


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