My List o’ Movies
Click on each title for a complete review:
10,000 B.C.
Adventure, history, magic!
Alone in the Dark
A video game movie nightmare.
Aztec Rex
A tyrannosaur in Ancient Mexico!
Batman (1989 version)
The same review as No Country for Old Men!
The Big Sleep
The original classic detective mystery.
Bruce Almighty
A comedy with a sad, disturbing truth.
Dark Breed
Invasion of the Body-Snatchers with good and bad aliens.
Death Wish 3
Bronson helps us end gang violence!
Ghost Voyage
This review is freakier than the actual movie. You have been warned.
The Girl who Leapt through Time
Anime of high school…and time travel.
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
The same review as No Country for Old Men!
Howl’s Moving Castle
Anime of a young girl burdened with a terrible curse.
Jumper
How Stephen King loves it!
Juno
A happy film about teenage pregnancy.
The Legend of Zelda
Not a real movie, but I reviewed it anyhow!
The Mist
Stephen King and director Frank Darabont want us to bite the big one!
Night of the Living Dead (1968 version)
Same review as The Mist, and proud of it!
No Country for Old Men
Tommy Lee Jones plays a passively passive sheriff in this movie of gore and violence!
Odysseus and the Isle of the Mists
The lost chapter from Homer’s Odyssey!
Outland
Sean Connery in space!
Rambo: First Blood
Rambo’s first outing!
Snowglobe
For those lonely Christmas afternoons.
Spider-Man 3
Delights and gripes.
Spider-Man 3 — Alternate Beginning
I couldn’t resist!
Stardust
Magical–*wipes away a tear*–absolutely magical!
Stone Cold
Tom Selleck vs. Serial Killers in a small mountain town!
Surf’s Up
A surfing documentary–with penguins!
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: the Secret of the Ooze
The same review as No Country for Old Men!
Transformers (2007)
The same review I used for Jumper!
Torque
Road Rash the movie!
Warbirds
Female Fighter Pilots in World War II battle pterodactyls!
The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep
Boy becomes father to a baby Loch Ness!
Now, here’s my very important philosophy on how I review movies:
Stars, numbers, and thumbs can be quite misleading when reviewing a movie. I mean, Roger Ebert once told me that he gave the Spawn movie three and a half stars, almost a cinematic masterpiece. After seeing it, I’d have to disagree. Ebert himself admitted he that regrets the poor rating he gave for The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly when it first came out.
Movie trailers are equally deceptive. Just do a YouTube search for Star Wars: The Phantom Menace movie trailer. That thing is awesome … until you actually sit through the entire movie … most of the exciting parts went into the trailer!
So for my reviews, I try to steer clear of ratings and trailers that hype up a few highlights (keyword: try). Instead, I try to write what I call “truth trailers.” The hype is stripped away, and from there the movie either falls or stands on its own.
